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Friday, 9 September 2005

image for Humanitarian Efforts in Katrina Disaster Continue
Whoopi Goldberg has offered Ms Greene a part in her sequel to "The Associate" called "Up Yours"

In an unprecedented move today, an Atlanta woman has agreed to donate her job to a Hurricane Katrina evacuee. Citing references from the Job Sharing Act of September 2005, Renee Greene, who has dearly loved her position as a real estate paralegal for more than seven years has agreed to make the ultimate sacrifice and train someone else to do it. "This way," she says, "someone who lost their job and the firm for which I now work can simultaneously benefit."

Humanitarian organizations across the world have given honor to Ms Greene for her huge self-less act of sacrifice, saying, in the words of Apollo 11 space pioneer, Neil Armstrong, "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." When asked what she would do with all of her free time once someone takes her up on her offer, she said, "I plan to move on to more humble pursuits in life, maybe go back to school, look for a real job that pays, take a trip to Hawaii, who knows?"

Oprah Winfrey, who heard of Ms Greene's daunting contribution, offered her a trip to Paris to shop at Hermes during off-hours. Other celebrities have also applauded Ms Greene's contribution by donating various items to Ms Greene to show their appreciation of her sacrifice. Michael Jackson has offered her an autographed copy of his trial transcripts, former President Bill Clinton sent his congratulations with a box of imported Cuban cigars, Tom Cruise has issued her a personal invitation to his Scientology church nuptials, and former pop guitarist Ike Turner had offered her an opportunity to interview him so he can finally tell his side of Tina's story, "What's Love Got to do with it?"

Ms Greene is scheduled to be interviewed on Larry King: Wanted Live or Dead, in a special edition that will pre-empt Game 4 of the 2005 World Series and promises to be bigger news than Janet Jackson's boobs at the 2004 Super Bowl. After hearing of her gift, more than 1,000,000 people across the nation, and several hundreds of thousands in international cities, have come forward with an offer to donate their jobs to a good cause.

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