It has been revealed that the Democrats in the Wisconsin Senate who have ostensibly been in hiding to stall the collective bargaining vote are actually captives of Somali pirates. According to anonymous sources, the fourteen pro-union Senators were ferrying across Lake Michigan when the pirates seized their boat and now have them in an undisclosed location.
According to Sarah Palin, future Tea-Party candidate for the presidency and current hunter of moose and liberals, the plot was engineered by agents of MSNBC under the direction of lesbic pundit, Rachel Maddow. The pirates were contracted to ambush the Senators and keep them under wraps until the Obama FBI can get some incriminating dirt on Gov. Scott Walker which would force him to back down.
Meanwhile, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and Glenn Beck are organizing a benefit in Washington, D.C. in order to raise the 20 million dollars that the pirates are demanding for the Democrats' release. Mr. Hannity, when confronted with the irony, stated that if they can ransom the Dems then they would have to go back to Madison, create a quorum, and vote. That vote would ultimately doom unions in America.
Ms. Maddow has denied reports that the Democratic National Committee has asked Libyan warlord, Moammar Qaddaffi, for a platoon of mercenaries to "take out" the pirates.