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Friday, 9 September 2005

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Kung-Fu Kanye

Kanye West's recent comment that ''George Bush doesn't care about black people," made during a telethon last week for hurricane relief, has caused a major outcry amongst White House Officials. Mr. West has been challenged to a nationally televised debate by National Security Advisor, Dr. Condoleezza Rice. While awaiting an answer, Dr. Rice did take notice that Mr. West's hip-hop record sales have surged since the comment was made.

Mr. West has been hailed amongst critics of all races and nationalities as the "new national spokesman for African-Americans," ousting former reigning champions Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson Sr. from the top spot. In a highly-publicized bid to retain control of the race card, Rev Al and Rev Jackson have begun a mass e-mail marketing campaign slandering Mr. West's televised comment as inappropriate and not endorsed by the National Rainbow Coalition or Operation PUSH.

Laura Bush, stating that she was well aware of Mr. West's blurt, declined to comment except to say that she considers his comments "disgusting," seeing as to how her husband cares about all races and that they know most of New Orleans residents are poor. When asked what her feelings were, specifically, toward the poverty-stricken black race, Mrs. Bush answered with a direct quote from Jesus Christ of Nazareth, "The poor ye will have with ye always." Asked a third time what she believed specifically about the black and poor people of New Orleans, she mentioned that the unskilled industries of labor in that city were going to take a severe hit if the wonderful residents of all race and nationalities did not return to help the landowners and merchants restore New Orleans to its former glory. Mr. Bush has agreed to meet with Mr. West to discuss the situation on condition that they both meet in neutral territory without their Secret Service Agents and West Body Guards at hand.

Actor Matt Damon applauded West's comments and Canadian pop singer Celine Dion, when she heard of West's comment, broke into tears while speaking of the New Orleans disaster, accusing Bush's policy of being more interested in the Middle East than his own backyard.

Meanwhile, back at Camp David, Bush outdoor camper Cindy Sheehan, still confused as to why neither Bush nor Rice have agreed to speak with her about US policy on the war in Iraq, has decided to file a reverse discrimination lawsuit. She alleges that the "Hurricane Katrina racism thing" has caused her unjustifiable loss in her once top-rated standings in the news ratings.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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