Written by Aspartame Boy
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Friday, 25 February 2011

image for US House covets dental gold
Not Novocaine, but truth serum will be used to take the gold

Washington DC - A confidential source, code-named Praline, on a key committee of the US House has revealed that not only will Social Security be cut to the quick, but Baby Boomers will be targeted in a new way.

As gold is expected to reach $2,000 an ounce, there is talk on the Hill of confiscating gold when that price is reached. This includes dental fillings.

Praline had heard in the committee meeting, "We can't afford to have all that gold walking around the country. We are talking about billions of dollars at that [$2000.00 per ounce] price. They won't need those teeth anyway when they are reduced to eating canned dog food, when we take away their monthly checks."

Praline explained that dentists would be forced to act as government "gold reclamation" agents, and be forced to pull any gold containing teeth "belonging" to seniors. Any dentists refusing to cooperate would be subject to Federal imprisonment for a term of 20 years.

Praline said the only thing left to be resolved is how to get those teeth into the dental chair. Tax credits for dental exams are being considered as a possible solution.

The committee considered taking the seniors shoes, but decided that would not be worth the trouble, according to Praline.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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