Written by mikewadestr
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Topics: wisconsin

Thursday, 24 February 2011

Wisconsin Governor, Scott Walker, has announced that they have hired veteran rabbit hunter Elmer J. Fudd to hunt down the Senate's Democrats, which are currently hiding out in Illinois.

"We feel that Elmer J. Fudd is by far the best person for this kind of job", stated Walker at a morning news conference. "We have studied his films on how to hunt rabbits and, believe me, they are really quite impressive. Just his tenacity in the face of utter defeat, failure and humiliation is enough to bring tears to your eyes. I mean, the guy can get hit with a frying pan, smashed with an anvil and shot with a shot gun all in a span of 15 seconds and he just pops right up without a scratch on him and just keeps on going".

"He is like the Eveready Bunny filled with rubber".

When asked about the job over the phone in his house in ToonVille, Fudd answered: "Awww shucks, I need a good bweak from huntin' dat wascally wabbit. I'm lookin' forward to huntin' those wascally Democwats, I hear dat dey are wiley quitters. I'm goin' to be weaving for Ilwinois as soon as I can figwure out how to get dis dang beawr twap off of my head. Dat wabbit is weawy gonna pay for dis one".

When asked if he would use anything special during the hunt, Fudd replied: "Aww, I hear dat dose Democwats are a lot like chickens. So I been workin' on my chicken call. Does anyone know if dose Democwats way any eggs? I could sure use a sausage and egg biscuit wight now.

When it was pointed out to Governor Walker that Fudd had never actually succeeded in catching the rabbit in his hunting videos, Walker responded: "Maybe not the rabbit, but he did catch the duck a couple of times. Although there is some debate as to whether or not the duck was set up by the rabbit. Ducks are just like chickens. Aren't they?"

"If Fudd fails us, we do have a backup plan. We're going to bring in that Wiley E. Coyote guy".

It has been rumored that the Democrats, upon getting wind of Walker's intentions, have hired a consultant to help them outsmart Elmer J. Fudd. His name is Bugs Bunny.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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