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Topics: America, Hurricane

Friday, 9 September 2005

New Orleans -- In a shock turnaround, the President of America offers full monetary and emotional aid to the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

In a 4 hour visit to the city's Superdome, President George W. Bush serenaded the victims of the hurricane to boost moral. He took his trusty guitar, "Air Geetar 1", and busked outside the dome with a hat on the floor collecting for the victims.

The president played his entire repertoire, and several new songs that he had learnt especially for the occasion.

"He was real good, and his version of ‘Stormy Weather' really moved me" said Violet Problowski (pictured). "He even played the Tellytubbies music for my son, Hector" (also pictured), "they both really got into it and Mr Bush said it was one of his favourites".

The President has been on a charm offensive for the last three days ever since he realised that the situation was real and not ‘…some fancy T.V. program with all them computed graphicals…'

It has been reported that the President has been disbelieving of the T.V. ever since he watched the Hollywood blockbuster "Day After Tomorrow" in the White House 2 years ago. "The President was deeply moved by what he saw on the T.V. and was about to order new Gore-Tex and Fleece jackets for all his staff when his aides finally made him realise that it was fictitious" said a White House insider who asked not to be named. "It may have taken 9 hours to get him to see what it was, but it was worth it. The best quote he had had was almost $37,000.00".

The president has reportedly made over $9.32 with his busking and has donated all of the money straight to the disaster fund.

The President has now flown to Los Angeles to meet with ‘American Idol' judge Simon Cowell who signed him on the spot to make a benefit CD.

The track listing is believed to be as follows. ‘Stormy Weather', ‘Theme from the Tellytubbies', ‘Cryin' in the Rain', ‘Rain, Rain, Go Away', ‘Blown Away', 'Here comes The Sun', and a moving, down-beat version of 'Walking on Sunshine' with special guests 'Katrina and the Waves' who originally recorded the song.

The CD is due in the shops Monday September 19th on the BMG label, and is available at all good stockists. 24% of the retail price goes straight to the fund (after taxes).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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