Written by Charpa93
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Wednesday, 23 February 2011

image for Pamela Anderson Offers to Train High School Wrestler Who Won't Fight Girls
Bob, getting ready for his wrestling match with Pam Anderson

After Pamela Anderson heard the story about a high school male wrestler in Iowa who backed out of a wrestling championship in which he was favored to win instead of wresting a female opponent, she hopped the next plane to Des Moines, and offered to train the boy herself to ready him for the real world of boy/girl wrestling.

Said Anderson while en route to Iowa, "I've seen his kind before. They talk a tough game but when it comes down to wrestling with a girl, they freeze." She says she thinks it has something to do with what parts might be touched in such close physical contact. "I'm thinking this kid hasn't never slow danced with a girl either," she said.

Anderson says the first thing she'll do is introduce herself to "Bob" and let him get a good look at just what he's up against. "Usually, boys his age have a bit of a hormonal problem and it is best to get those feelings out of the way first," she said. "After a day or two of continual thoughts of grabbing me in various places, he'll tire of it and that will hopefully break him so that when we do get in the ring, it will be all business."

Anderson claims she learned how to wrestle from Billy Bob Thornton, who came over to the trailer every now and again when Tommy was out of town and taught her a few wrestling moves. She said it took her awhile, but she finally learned how to pin Thornton down good and keep him down for the count. "Of course," she said, "he was usually three sheets to the wind when I won, but still, you never forget how to pin an opponent down in the throes of, well, you know."

"The bottom line," says Pam, "is to get this kid to a place where wrestling girls is second nature to wrestling boys. If, after I take a whack at him, he still doesn't want to wrestle girls, then I think we have a whole new problem on our hands, and that's something I just don't think I have the ability to tackle."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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