Barack Obama has offered Colonel Gaddafi land on Straten Island in the Arthur Kills section where he can pitch his tents to house his retinue of slaves, call girls and one of the world's largest stashes of cocaine.
Formerly a landfill area containing toxic waste from all over the United States, local residents suffer from a series of cancerous tumors that have made the island the Molokai of the US. Gaddafi has a chance of becoming the Father Damien of the area thus atoning for his bad behavior in recent days.
Bodies of those he has killed in Tripoli will also be buried in the former landfill as a constant reminder to him of his brutality.
Obama, always an admirer of Gaddafi, stated that this way, "we can keep him, (Gaddafi), near to hand, providing him with succor in these trying times".
Gaddafi is expected to arrive on the Queen Mary in the next two weeks; at that time, all Staten Island ferries will be removed to allow the ship to dock. Alternative transport to New York will be provided over the Verrazano Bridge which will institute outgoing tolls just for this period. It is expected that the toll rate will be raised to $15 per vehicle and $20 for the return trip.
EZ Pass will no longer be accepted.