Written by Andrew Hall
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Monday, 21 February 2011

image for America to the Middle East: Hurry Up!
Why is this taking soooooo long?

AmericanPoe.com, America's premier polling website, has released the latest results of its online questionnaire about America's opinion of the Middle East strife. The people have spoken with one voice and that voice is: You people need to hurry up.

88% of the respondents voiced a general irritation that the march to democracy is taking far too long. Follow up questions discovered that 45% of the aforementioned 88% wonder why "Arabs can't just get on with it, after all it took America one week to get a functioning republic (six days of work and a day of rest-check your bible). 35% of the 88% responded that "These protests are getting in the way of the real news: the latest in Charlie Sheen's meltdown." 20% percent of the 88% got distracted by Jersey Shore and couldn't be bothered.

The 12% of the respondents who did not voice irritation with the speed of the democratization process agreed with this statement: "The Middle East is doing fine. I love going to that restaurant - the falafel is epic!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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