Written by Charpa93
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Friday, 18 February 2011

image for Bigfoot Activity Heightened During Solar Flare Event

Mt. Clemens, MICHIGAN - The city of Mt. Clemens, Michigan is once again in the news for Bigfoot sightings as it seems that several citizens have phoned the local police station claiming to have witnessed what they believe are large, hairy ape-like creatures rooting through dumpsters and fouling the air with their distinct skunk-like odor.

Police officers have been told to keep an alert eye for any suspicious activity in and about the dumpsters, especially the dumpster behind the Buffalo Wild Wings Grill and Bar out on 15 Mile Road, which, as many may recall, was the scene over a year ago of a verified Bigfoot sighting.

Amateur astronomers belonging to the Warren Astronomical Society believe the heightened activity may be caused by an unusually strong solar flare event which is affecting the moon, causing it to seem larger and brighter than normal in the night sky.

"While we are not experts in cryptozoology and are merely amateur astronomers, it does appear that from what we've read, there is a direct correlation between the brighter moon and the uptick in Bigfoot sightings," said Henry Marks, a retired science teacher at the local high school.

Some local Bigfoot hunters have been keeping an eye on the dumpster behind the Buffalo Wild Wings Grill and Bar ever since an employee by the name of Lou Klively spotted what he thought was a Bigfoot running into the woods on a cold snowy night in December 2009. "I'll never forget that night," said Klively, who continues to work at the restaurant as night manager. "I know without a doubt that Bigfoot exists, and I'm hoping to catch another look at one during this here solar flare event."

Meanwhile, the fellas who belong to the Warren Astronomical Society claim they'll keep their eyes trained on the skies. "No sense in looking for something that may not exist here on earth when there is a possibility of spotting a UFO up there," said Marks pointing to the stars.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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