Written by mikewadestr
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Friday, 18 February 2011

In the rush to avoid the intrusiveness of both the TSA scanners and pat downs at airports, people have begun to use overnight FedEx to send themselves, their families and their luggage to their destinations.

By using FedEx's newly promoted 250 pound boxes, travelers who previously used air travel are now using FedEx.

"This is great", said Craig Boxer from Chicago. "All you have to do is box yourself up in one of those FedEx 250 pounders, put a delivery label on it and call FedEx and you are on your way".

"Just remember to put a lot of foam around you and pop some air holes on the top of the box".

"You can use some of the smaller FedEx boxes to send your wife and kids. Now, to really save you money, you might want to time everything by sending your luggage on normal freight so that it will be there when you arrive at your destination".

FedEx has reacted to these new phenomena by starting design of friendly person shipping boxes that are larger than the 250 pound boxes and have kitchens and bathrooms in them. They claim to have a box in testing that will allow a family of four to travel comfortably overnight.

"This is going to revolutionize travel", stated FedEx spokesman Donny DoRight. "We are going to corner the market on travel of all kinds. We are in the process of designing high end boxes that contain a sitting bar and a Jacuzzi in them as well as climate control".

Not to be out done, Homeland Security Head, Janet Napolitano held a press conference today and said: "You can run but you cannot hide. We will feel you up where ever you go.

On a side not, FedEx has mentioned that they have received more orders for the new FedEx boxes from Al Qaida than anyone else.

But, honestly, has anyone been boxed in more than Osama Bin Laden.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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