Written by mikewadestr
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Topics: New York, bedbugs

Friday, 18 February 2011

New York City has turned what was once a negative, a bedbug infestation, into a tourist boom by promoting their non-removable residents with a new slogan: Don't be a Slug, Give Your Bedbug a Hug. Thus far, the promotion has been a major success as bedbug infested hotels have been booked solid. Sales of clothes full of the blood sucking buggers have, also, gone out the roof.

"This is absolutely unbelievable', said New York City tourist Czar Betty BiteMe. "People are just going absolutely bonkers over our bedbugs. They just cannot get enough of them. Hotels have started charging an extra $200.00 per night for rooms that are pre-occupied with the six legged invaders. We are just so excited about this".

One of the promotions has been for people seeking medicinal cures by the method of bloodletting, which is the removal of bad blood that is the cause of a person's illnesses.

So far, many members of Congress have been visiting the bedbug infested hotels in the hope that bloodletting will cure their chronic cases of idiocy.

Unfortunately, not everyone is ecstatic about the slogan: Don't be a Slug, Give Your Bedbug a Hug.

The organization, People for the Ethical Treatment of Slugs (PETS) has objected to the use of the word 'Slug' in the slogan.

"This whole promotion makes slugs look bad", said PETS spokeswomen Jenny Slime. "Slugs are good, not bad. As a matter of fact, slugs are better than bedbugs. When you get tired of slugs, you just throw salt on them. You certainly cannot get rid of bedbugs that way, if not at all".

Clothing stores are offering upscale underwear which is complete with bedbugs in them for erotic pleasure. Although, the stores do recommend that the persons wearing this underwear include a decent size bush in them to allow the bedbugs a place to breed.

Only in New York City.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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