WASHINGTON (Reuters)-President George Bush has placed the blame for the lousy relief efforts by the United States Government in New Orleans and the Gulf Coast in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina squarely on the former Acting President Bonzo Bush.
"I trusted Bonzo Bush to run the White House during my vacations and frequent absences, but Bonzo has let me and the entire nation down," stated George Bush at a packed press conference in the nation's capital.
"Laura and I had adopted Bonzo and we gave him a lot of responsibility. He seemed to be running things well, but he failed us in New Orleans," accused the President. "There are now many questions that need to be asked of him. Why didn't Bonzo immediately send in relief supplies? Why did Bonzo cut the funding to the US Corps of Army Engineers that prevented them from beefing up the levees in New Orleans? Many more questions surround this sordid affair."
The presidential chimpanzee looked ashamed at the revelations of his extreme negligence, and tried to hide in a corner of his cage at the back of the press room in the White House.
Reporters agreed with President Bush that the primate was blameworthy, and that this exonerated George Bush from any culpability in the death and destruction in New Orleans and throughout the Deep South.
"Mr. President, why did you put so much trust in this…this…creature?" asked Peter Pimplehead of the Washington Post.
"We'll, Pete, we believe in equal opportunity here, and in giving opportunities for advancement to those who are less fortunate but who show considerable promise, like Bonzo. Yet that policy was obviously overly optimistic."
Brenda Ballbearing of the New York Times asked if Bonzo Bush had anything to do with the mess that the nation has found itself in in Iraq.
George Bush replied, "Brenda, I fear so. Bonzo committed tens of thousands of US troops to the illegal bombing and invasion of Iraq, apparently in order to acquire their banana crop. There again, I was on vacation at the time. Bonzo let us down there too. I'm not even sure that Iraq grows bananas, although they sure have a lot of oil."
Reporters tried to elicit a comment from the disgraced former Acting President, but he continued to hide his face in shame.