In an announcement that took the US and the world by surprise, President Barack Obama called the Egyptian President last night and made him an offer, "you can't refuse."
Obama offered him the State of Texas plus Club Seats to the Super Bowl for the rest of his life if he would step down now.
A source tells this reporter that Mubarak replied, "Do I have to let Anderson Cooper in?"
Obama evidently replied, "It will be your freakin country Muhammad, you can do anything you like, just like now!"
"Cool," replied Mubarak. "Could you throw in South Florida?"
Obama supposedly replied, "Take the deal Muhammad; you're lucky your head isn't on somebody's fence post!"
As hundreds of thousands prepared to leave the state and billboards were going up proclaiming that this was now the "Rug Capitol of the World," the good news was the total cessation of illegal aliens coming in from Mexico.
In related news, sources in the White House are saying the President is currently in negotiations with the leaders of Yemen and Somalia for the states of Mississippi and Alabama.