Washington DC-- Chelsea Clinton has moved back to her parents home to lick her wounds amid rumors of divorce and infedelity with her husband of 6 months, Marc Mezvinski. Mezvinski has run off to Jackson Hole, WY to ponder the future of his marriage to hit the slopes- and do a little 'licking' of his own!
Mezvinski, who was also hit with the ugly stick- but not battered with it like poor Chelsea was- gave his unfortunate looking wife an ultimatum: get a new face or find a new husband! Reports say that while at first Chelsea told Marc where to stick his ultimatum, she's now considering going under the knife to save her marriage.
Clinton denies the rumor but witnesses have seen her frequenting the office of "plastic surgeon to the politicians" Dr. Bernard B. Hacker. While Chelsea isn't getting a face transplant per se, she will be undergoing serious reconstructive surgery.
A confidential source said, "She's getting some major work done, for sure. It's gonna make Heidi Montag's surgeries look like she did an over the counter Oil of Olay skin peel by comparison. She'll look like a whole new person!"
It seems that's the point.