WASHINGTON, D.C.-Reporters in Washington yesterday were shocked and delighted with President Obama's latest in a previously failed series of economic recovery plans.
The President is going to mandate that all states be provided with at least 100,000 long sticks with nails at the end, or some cases, with already been chewed gum stuck to the end, and with as many glass bottles and jars and an equal amount of plastic bags.
Why all these strange materials? His plan includes or basically only consists of, Americans collecting what money they can find on the side of the road! Most Americans were shocked and angered at this prospect, but those who work in Sanitation or are semi-retired metal-detector enthusiasts were overjoyed at the prospect, even though Obama, now dubbed the "Change President" by many Washington wags, has stated that at least 15 % of what is found must be declared and given to the government.
In a recent visit to his home senatorial state of Illinois, Obama was bombarded, ironically, by protesters who, ironically had previously supported him, especially during his campaign for President.
The source of the missiles hurled at him? Why, various bits and types of change, of course! Typically incompetent Secret Service agents had a difficult time putting the mini-rebellion down, and bringing the change-throwers to justice.
Obama, not too appalled by the scene and his pelting, quipped "Well, at least they're no longer using guns and bullets; at least, not on their President".
To which a number of irreverent reporters, ardent fans and Obama supporters raucously laughed at.
Truly, this was the best showcase, if not the best time, for the Presidents famous wit.
While in Chicago, Obama, in what can only be called a publicity stunt, donned the reflective vest of the Sanitation worker and, armed with a long stick with a nail at the end-or perhaps it was gum, this reporter is sad to reflect that he forgets which-he proceeded to pick up things, some of which were dollar bills and change, not doubt set up earlier by carefully selected Obama aides.
Still, the President was in fine form, as he went about picking up what amounted to $14.56 in assorted dollar bills and change.
"This is a great day for America," he intoned," and a great day for the numismatists IN America" Once again, the President's fine, cogent wit was being showcased.
This reporter hopes that America, in it's desperate hour of need, will finally commit this scoundrel and unmitigated lunatic to the asylum where he belongs! Otherwise, who knows what sweeping "changes" are next for our faltering country?