Written by Daniel Wolf
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Wednesday, 9 February 2011

In late-breaking news, the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency has issued orders to have singer Christina Aguilera detained, and proffered for transportation to "Club Guantanimo Bay", for an official interview.

This, due to the most suspicious nature, of the singers alleged "flubbing", of the American national anthem.

Upon review, of tapes, made during the alleged "accidental" flubbing, experts, at Langley Field, have come to the conclusion that the singer was not, in fact, "accidentally" flubbing the song, but was, intentionally, attempting to decrease American morale.

This, Interpol also verified, since it seems that the flubbed version, of the national anthem, is, in fact, the rallying cry, of the Taliban, Hamas, and other terrorist groups.

According to the singers agent, Ralph Pool, it is un-clear just how long that Aguilera will be "on vacation", at Guantanimo. All that is known is that, in order to re-enter the United States, Aguilera will be required to give the C.I.A. a full, and complete, list, of those persons who coached her, in her slander of the national anthem.

According to an official statement, from Central Intelligence:

This incident was not an accident, in any way. Upon very close inspection, of the recordings, and comparisons, with known terrorist groups, the so-called "flubs" do, in fact, match the rallying cry, of several, Middle east groups. There is no question that the singer is an operative, for these groups, in the United States."

Mr. Pool, is, currently, preparing to cancel many of the singers scheduled appearances, since it is not known how long she will be interviewed, at Guantanimo Bay. It is, also, not known, if she will be allowed to re-enter the United States, once her interview is finished.

Fans, of the singer, will be encourage to turn in all records, tapes, and C.D.'s, of the singer, so that these may be reviewed, for UN-American bias, as well.

At this time, it is not known if criminal charges will be filed, by the Justice Department, over the incident, at the Super Bowl. According to Judge Roberts, of the Supreme Court, such charges will be based upon the severity of the issue. Since the Super Bowl was telecast, nationally, this may be cause for felony charges, at the federal level.

At press time, all that is known is that the singer is being taken into custody, and prepared for transportation.

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