President Obama will spend $53 billion on an around-the-world high-speed rail system whose sole passenger will be Vice President Joe Biden.
The plan is to place Biden on the non-stop rail service until the day he expires.
The President, in making the case for this massive project, explained that high-tech jobs will be created, the national debt paid off, and a massive switch in leisure habits will take place amongst Americans, who will forsake the internet in favour of classical reading from the 19th century.
Analysts believe that Obama true intent is to leave a legacy of accomplishments in the arena of human rights and peace accords, as ruthless plundering dictators are maintained as long as possible in areas such as the Middle East, topped off with the singular memorable accomplishment of turning back history more than 100 years.
This correspondent predicts that, in his eventual memoirs, Obama will attribute the inspiration for all this to his transgender babysitter back in Indonesia.
But that is just a guess.
What we know is that Biden opposed the plan from the beginning - something about trying to build an around-the-world train on a flat earth.
The presumption here is that some of you readers have endured a Biden oration at least once.