Gnome, Alaska - Conservative dunk tank The P-U Chairitable trust today announced a new research report that puts Sarah Palin in the Ronald Reagan family tree. At least, that is if you count Bonzo the Chimp.
"DNA testing of Sarah and Bonzo's hair have found an exact match of the two.
"Most people aren't aware that Bonzo was actually a female chimpanzee," said Arc Garfuncle, whose name is interestingly similar to Art Garfunkel's.
"It was the most conservative chimp at the studio, it took an immediate shine to Ron, especially when he refused to buy the chimp an ice cream cone. While we weren't teaching her sign language, she very clearly gave him the middle finger sign. Ron said that was his kind of chimp. Even then he wanted to call the chimp Sarah, no particular reason, he just liked the name. We never guessed we would one day find a connection between Bonzo and a modern day Presidential candidate!"