Looking wan, drawn out, sickly and quite unappealing, actually a lot like her famous mother, Chelsea Clinton emerged from a NYC fitness (sic) center yesterday telling gathered press that her dysfunctional marriage "was stronger than ever" and expected to see her estranged husband 'sometime in the coming months."
Chelsea was forced to confront the press after reports surfaced that hubby Marc Mezvinsky had suddenly quit his high paying hedge fund job, their apartment on 5th Avenue, and had taken off for Jackson Hole, Wyoming, an upscale skiing and 'bunga-bunga' resort, for three months of SNOW-BROADING.
Belying Chelsea's brave, but sunken chinned face, is the report that the IRS has turned down the senior Clinton's 2010 tax return where they claimed a $5m tax deduction dealing with the cost of Chelsea's lavish wedding.
In arguing for the deduction, the staff of Clinton accountant's and tax lawyers argued that just like donating a clunker car that you had no hope of selling, trading in, or even burning for the insurance, paying to get rid of a child who was an albatross around your political ambitions met the tax code criteria.
In turning down the charitable deduction, the adjudicator for the taxpayers said in a 45 page rebuttal that "the taxpayers should not be paying for a mistake when marital sex goes terrible wrong. Adults must be responsible for their progeny, unless you're a professional athlete, a Harlem minister, or a civil rights leader."
Further noting that both the Clintons were 'white anglo saxon protestants, although from Arkansas, the addendum dealing with charitable foundations and deductions clearly does not apply." It was further noted that under Obamacare, which both Clintons endorsed, their child was legally their responsibility until the age of 26 if she was a citizen, and until the age of 35 if she was an illegal alien, depending on one's interpretation of "alien."
The lavish wedding, for which the government picked up an undetermined amount for added security, refurbishing of the chapel, and a honeymoon flight generously donated by former Speaker of the House on her US Air Force personal plane, now seems like a bad dream.
The 'dream couple' who met at Stanford were said to have collected over $15M in cash and jewelry from attendees, mostly from the middle east, including $500k in cash from Hosni Mubarak as a 'special friend of Hillary', which seems ironic now in hind sight.
According to members of the Jackson Hole Ski Patrol, Marc has yet to be seen on the slopes, but there are rumours that his rented 10 room condo does not lack from a hoard of 'bunnies in waiting'.
Said one veteran ski instructor, "the line is so long to get in his pad you'd think Justin Bieber was interviewing new hair stylists!"
Simon & Schuster have denied the rumour that Mezvinsky is the anonymous author behind the new tell all book about the Clinton dynasty scheduled for release in October 2012 tentatively entitled: "Don't Ask, Don't Swallow-The Clinton Chronicles"