Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Wednesday, 2 February 2011

Florida's Biscayne Bay area of Miami is being evacuated and cordoned off by counter terrorist forces as I write following information received by Homeland Security leading to strong suspicions that the piano on the sandbar out in the bay is in fact a bomb planted there by terrorists.

Coastguards are patrolling the entrance to the bay ensuring that no vessels enter the area.

Counter terrorist units sprung into action after receiving a telephone call on Tuesday evening from the worried manager of one of Biscayne's hotels.

The manager's name , not being made public, is said to have decided to contact Homeland Security after seeing TV news coverage of the stranded piano on Monday evening,and to report that an Arabic looking man had booked into his hotel for a one night stay there last week .

He had demanded a room with a view overlooking the bay,and had then shown more than a casual interest in a couple of brochures on the hotels counter advertising boats for hire.

Homeland Security spokesman Brady Horsewee also revealed to the press this morning that several suspicious looking wires had been seen through binoculars protruding from the piano bomb on the sandbar.

"It's far too dangerous for us to send any of our people out to it," he warned. "It could go BANG at any moment."

Also revealed was that in addition to the sighting of wires several sheets of paper had been found washed up along the shore containing strange foreign looking symbols and writing along five lined segments and resembling little drawings of golf clubs or spoons.

"They look Arabic to us," said Brady.

Asked how long it would be before people could return to their homes and the bay could be reopened to traffic spokesman Horsewee was unable to give any precise answer.

"The plan at the moment is to have a couple of F-16 fighter jets come in to blow the whole sandbar to smithereens with a few of our own bombs," he said, "but we can't say when that will be until we've sorted out the telephone number of the air base so that we can contact them to make arrangements for it to be done. Things should be back to normal by sometime next week."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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