Chelsea Clinton is reportedly 'devastated' as news leaked that her husband, hedge fund guru, Marc Mezvinsky, has quit his job, quit his 5th Avenue Apartment, and quit her, fleeing to an
upscale western skiing resort known for snow bunny 'Bunga-Bunga' parties after her plastic surgery went horribly wrong.
Friends of Marc, according to his FaceBook page, said the rich son of a banker, and a distant cousin of Monica Lewinsky who was also famously involved with a Clinton, was horrified after the physical enhancement procedures undertaken by Chelsea prior to the storied wedding, began to turn her back into Alvin the Chipmunk.
Said friend Benny Goldman, a NY diamond merchant, "Marc woke up one morning and found Chelsea's chin implants had dropped to her Adam's apple, one enhanced breast had deflated, and her buttock silicone filler material had dropped down to her thighs...for a minute he thought Hillary had wound up in bed with him!"
Horrified, Marc was said to have quit his job forthwith at Prestigious Goldman Sachs where he was employed as a 'lay about' right after his lucrative year end bonus, and packed his SUV and headed for glamorous Jackson Hole, Wyoming.
A family counseling specialist, and psychic with a PhD, on retainer for the Clintons
due to their continued need for emotional support, said it was no chance decision on Marc's part to pick Jackson Hole, when he could easily have gone to Vale, Aspen, Wildcat Mountain, Stowe, or Evergreen Valley.
"There's something sexual going on, " said the psychic, "I sense dissatisfaction in the marital bed, the need for power, and probably an uncontrolled urge for oral sex which has not been satisfied due to family complications and flashbacks from childhood."
A PR spokesman for the Clintons tried to put a positive spin on the situation.
"Chelsea can't get away right now due to some medical complications, "he said, "but she fully intends to fly out to Wyoming every couple of weeks to check up on Marc, as soon as she feels up to it."
When last seen Marc was involved in an intense Trivial Pursuit pub game with team mate
Rachel Uchitel as they tried to guess the answer to "Name the lady in the famous blue dress who was linked to a former President by DNÅ!"