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Tuesday, 1 February 2011

image for Republicans and Democrats hold a Beer-partisan Meeting at the White House
"Please pass me another beer!"

Washington DC: A bipartisan meeting of Republican and Democratic lawmakers occurred in the Oval Office today. President Obama wanted to take advantage of the new "era of good feeling" and compromise exhibited by the mixed seating arrangements during his State of the Union Speech.

The president hosted VP Biden, Senate Minority Leader McConnell (R-KY), Senate Majority Leader Reid (D-NV), House Speaker Boehner (R-OH), House Majority Leader Cantor (R-VA), House Majority Whip McCarthy (R-CA), Chairman of the House Budget Committee Ryan (R-WI), House Minority Leader Pelosi (D-CA), House Minority Whip Hoyer (D-MD) and Assistant House Majority Whip Clyburn (D-SC).

The president had his aides carry in several cases of Miller Lite and First Lady Michelle Obama joined the group carrying in two dozen Domino pepperoni pizzas. The Oval Office doors were closed and no reporters or aides were present at the meeting. The aides did hear rounds of raucous laughter during the deliberations. The meeting lasted several hours and when it broke up the following results were posted on Facebook.

1. Basketball will replace baseball as the USA's national sport.

2. All states west of the Mississippi River will be anti-abortion states except for California, Washington, Oregon and Hawaii. The other states and any new states will be pro-choice states.

3. Previous living Congressman and current incumbent Congressmen (regardless of party affiliation) will be assessed $50,000 per year if they presided over a budget containing a deficit that added to the national debt.

4. A total of 400 new nuclear power electric generating plants will be built in the USA and painted green.

5. The Department of Energy (DOE) and the Department of Education (DOE) will be combined to save acronyms.

6. Illegal immigrants will be granted amnesty if they have been in the USA more than 25 years and have families, all others first have to serve five years in the Peace Corps based in Tibet and criminals will be deported immediately.

7. Health care reform (Obamacare) repeal was tabled for a later meeting, when all nine of the Supreme Court justices would be invited to the Oval Office.

All participants agreed today's meeting was very productive. President Obama indicated they would all reconvene at the same time next month for another meeting to continue the bipartisan discussions. He would also provide Kentucky Bourbon and California wines as well as Miller Lite.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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