NATCHEZ, Mississippi - Scientists are mystified at the discovery of an Egyptian pyramid and sphinx which were recently uncovered by a highway construction crew seven miles outside of the Mississippi town of Natchez.
USA Sunup interviewed Sherman Ray "Bubba" Tuttletucker foreman with the Greater Natchez Highway Construction Company who stated that his crew had just started digging with a backhoe when the backhoe operator Willie Roy "Bubba" Goldenbrick reported that he had hit something that was very pointy and appeared to be made of extremely hard rock.
As the construction workers dug away the dirt they noticed that the object appeared to be extremely smooth and pointed almost pyramid like in design.
After taking their lunch break the crew went back and continued digging. Five hours later, they stepped back and noticed that they had uncovered what was definitely a pyramid and an accompanying sphinx.
Tuttletucker said that upon closer inspection he noticed that there were some type of hieroglyphics written on the side of the pyramid. He quickly took out his laptop and logged on to www.pyramids.old.
After surfing the net for a few minutes and getting his daily fix of Heidi Montag bosom photos out of the way "Bubba" Tuttletucker read all about the Egyptian hieroglyphics.
He learned that the pyramid and sphinx had both been placed into service in the year 3200 B.C. One of his construction workers Lesley "Tater" Harkenboyette reportedly found some fragments of what appeared to be pencil shavings, sand dollars, and rotten cotton balls in a hidden chamber vault of the pyramid.
He also found a little piece of something that appeared like it could possibly have come from a Mint Julep drinking cup but he was not sure since it was covered in a stain that looked like it could be either possum blood, crawfish blood, or dried nocturnal flying squirrel spit.
"Tater" also informed his boss that he had found another smaller hidden chamber vault which housed what best could be described as a cheerleader's pom pom.
"Bubba" Tuttletucker immediately decided to call Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour. Barbour informed Tuttletucker to tell his 'boys' not to touch anything else because it appeared that they had found the missing pyramid and sphinx known as The Queen Tatiana IV Pyramid and Sphinx of Egypt.
The governor told Tuttletucker that if it in fact turns out to be The Queen Tatiana IV Pyramid and Sphinx of Egypt that he knows that he can probably sell it back to Egypt for somewhere in the neighborhood of $40 million.
Governor Barbour told USA Sunup that if he does get the $40 million for the state of Mississippi he will use some of the money to repair Interstate 10 between Gulfport and Biloxi.
He will also use some of the money to finally build The Governor Haley Barbour Commemorative Library in Pascagoula.
The Governor then stated that if there is any money leftover he will place it into the State of Mississippi Food Stamp Fund.
In a non-related story. All throughout the month of March, every Jack-in-The-Box in Arkansas, Michigan, New Jersey, and Arizona will be offering 'Free Pap Smears' with the purchase of an Ultimate Cheeseburger.