Written by susan allen-rosario
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Topics: Ass, Smell

Sunday, 30 January 2011

image for Man caught in butt crack attacks
"It was like having a bike saddle shoved up my rear."

Seattle, Washington - A Seattle man was arrested Thursday after DNA tests matched his nose hairs to those taken from the buttocks of an attack victim.

Witnesses to the attack report that the man was running behind the woman when he suddenly grabbed her back and shoved his nose into her butt creeks.

The man told police that he did not grabbed her, but that he fell and directed his fall towards the woman's soft butt to avoid a hard fall.

Police say this is the third butt attack reported this year. Two other attack victims picked the man's nose out of a line-up.

"I'd know that snout anywhere. It was like having a bike saddle shoved up my rear."

A search of the man's home revealed hundreds of pairs of woman's dirty underwear.

"He's seen more dirty undies than a laundry mat," a police spokesperson said. They also reportedly found several pairs of "special" underwear on display in a glass cabinet.

"They were purchased at a 'Scent of a Woman' conference held in Las Vegas, where men buy used underwear worn by their favorite models."

Police are baffled by this man's fetish.

"This guy must have been a hound dog in another life, but only the nose knows."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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