Written by Dr. R. Y. Eustace
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Topics: School, Students

Wednesday, 24 August 2005

Students at a private school in Kansas revealed to reporters that Intelligent Design theory is "just too hard", and they prefer the teaching evolutionary theory. This comes after the school dismissed evolutionary theory off of its curriculum and adopted a two week intensive course in Intelligent Design. Intelligent Design, a philosophy competing against modern evolutionary science, is a model for explaining the existence of all things as the result of the definite planning of a deity/deities or extraterrestrial intervention. Many of the students maintained that the philosophical and abstract nature of Intelligent Design was far too complex.

At first, many students seemed to be encouraged by the change in curriculum, as evolutionary theory boasts a vast amount of scientific terminology they objected studying. An eighth grader stated, "In our old science classes, all I had to do was memorize our vocabulary list, and I would make pretty good grades. When we took our human evolution exam, I didn't even have to study because everything began with Homo or Australopithecus."

Intelligent Design, however, contains only three concepts. To the students' dismay, testing for the understanding of the concepts could only be achieved through essay exams. "With multiple choice and matching science exams,", argues one student, "I would do pretty good. But, now I have to write essays on stuff like irreducible complexity and specific complexity. After my test scores from Intelligent Design, I might have to repeat my grade."

The most astonishing discovery of the investigation was that many fundamentalist Christian students were failing the Intelligent Design course. One Christian student explained, "When we were tested in our old science class, all I had to do was write on the exam that taking the test was against my religion, and the teacher was afraid of failing me. Now that I'm expected to study and write essays on Intelligent Design, I don't know what to do."

While the debate of Intelligent Design versus modern science will continue in public schools, the students have made there decision at this undisclosed private school. The students prefer that theory which requires the least effort and provides the best test scores.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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