Pop teen virgin, Britney Spears, (who is no longer any of those qualifiers), has started her celebrity comeback in vicious style.
Spears now wants to be called 'Fritzy McGoo' in an attempt to woo back young men who previously 'dug' her.
"It's something she wanted to do," says McGoo's manager, Ellen. "She's headstrong and...I don't know. I think she suits 'Fritzy', don't you?"
Miss McGoo has also changed her image. No longer the school-girl clothe wearing sex-monkey, Fritzy is all 70's Glam Rock.
"She's like some horrible half-caste from a failed Austin Powers movie" declared one critic.