Washington, DC - Even as President Obama pleaded for cooperation and unity, Senate Republicans chose to show their discontent by remaining seated during several standing ovations. Senate leader Mitch McConnell told reporters there was a very good reason they did not stand up with fellow Democratic Senators.
"You have to understand that once we get our heads securely up our ass, it very hard to keep reseating. The speech lasted much longer than most of us expected and it was getting a bit hard to breathe. But I think we made our point."
Other senators said that is why they think that house speaker John Boehner has been doing so much crying lately.
"We think that he has spent so much time with his head up his ass, he has done permanent damage. He must be in a lot of pain."
They also explained that they have no intention of working with the President on anything.
"Not only are we going to have our heads up our ass, we are going to be a pain in one."
So let the pains begin…