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Wednesday, 26 January 2011

image for Obama: Electric Cars Will End Pollution, Because Generating Electricity Doesn't Create Pollution, Right?

President Obama dropped a megawatt bomb on the USA during his State of the Union address, when he said that he expects 1,000,000 electric cars to be on the country's roads by 2015.

"I believe that we will address this nation's three biggest challenges," said Obama. "Pollution and global warming, unemployment, and illegal Cuban immigration, by flooding the country with electric cars."


In 2006, an Oregon market research firm...
...released a report which claimed that a Humvee (13 miles per gallon) uses less energy than a Prius (48 city). Pound for pound, making a Prius contributes more carbon to the atmosphere than making a Hummer, largely due to the environmental cost of the 30 pounds of nickel in the hybrid's battery. Take that, environmentalist f--kwits.

"Five or so years ago, the a--hole Republicans took the very unpopular position that there is no such thing as a Zero Emissions electric vehicle, stating that they should more accurately be called 'remote emissions vehicles,' " Obama continued.

"It is not important that one must measure the emissions that a vehicle is responsible for, and not just what comes out of it," he continued. "It is true that, unless an electric cars is recharged via a f--king garage mounted solar collectors, the electricity is coming from a power plant, one most likely powered by coal or natural gas, and therefore must be creating emissions. You have to take all of the circumstances involved with MAKING the electricity, and not just where the electricity is finally consumed, into the equation."

Obama continued that the building of --and towing of discharged-- electric vehicles would employ "thousands of workers, many of them with Social Security cards printed at Kinko's."

"We won't have to deport illegal aliens," said the Leader of the Free World. "We'll just give 'em sh-tty jobs, and drive their asses out that way."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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