WASILLA, Alaska - The Wasilla Frozen Icicle newspaper has just printed a story dealing with the relationship between Todd Palin, husband of Sarah "Snowflake" Palin and Todd's longtime fishing guide Nanicka Zapalicka.
Zapalicka, 28, has been described as an extremely sexy-looking young Eskimo-American woman.
Nanicka, which is Eskimo for, caribou who runs like hell from white hunters, is the owner of The Lower Alaskan Salmon Fishing Guide Agency, formerly The Upper Alaskan Salmon Fishing Guide Agency.
Nan, as Todd calls her, stands 5 foot 7 inches tall, weighs 126 pounds, and has vital measurements, which according to Todd are 38-24-36.
She has a Master's Degree in Salmonology from Juneau's Iceberg State University along with a Master's Degree in Reindeer Neutering which she attained at Our Lady of The Dog Mushers College in Anchorage.
Miss Zapalicka said that she really resented the fact that the news media focused on the fact that Toddy (Palin) had been involved in some kind of relationship with Wasilla pedicurist Shirley Trippavukovich, who is known as "Silk Fingers."
Zapalicka was quick to point out that on a looks scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being beautiful and 1 being 'moose ugly' Trippavukovich is a 2.
Nan added that Toddy's wife Sarah is a 6 and that she (Nan) is a 10.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: I have seen photos of Shirley Trippavukovich and of course of Sarah Palin and I will agree that Miss Zapalicka is correct in assessing them a 2 and 6 respectively. I have also seen some photos of Nan and I must agree with her that the woman is most definitely a 10.]
Nanicka Zapalicka stressed to The Wasilla Frozen Icicle that her relationship with Mr. Palin is strictly on a professional basis. She admitted that they have gone on three-day fishing expeditions together but it was totally on a platonic level.
Zapalicka said that one thing she loves about Toddy is that he has a fantastic sense of humor and he knows more Eskimo igloo knock-knock jokes than anyone in Alaska.
SIDENOTE: Nanicka Zapalicka did confess that if Toddy's wife "Snowflake" ever divorces him that she will jump on him quicker than Kirstie Alley jumping on a paper plate of chocolate chip cookies.