Written by Asheville Jack
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Topics: Cannabis, munchies

Tuesday, 25 January 2011

image for Local Pot Smokers Miffed Towns Only All Night Eatery Out of Business
I'll have the ham and eggs, ma'am.

Garden City, Ka. - To fifty-nine year Jason Engle the local Waffle House was a late night oasis. Situated halfway between Garden City and the sleepy hamlet of Lakin on dusty Route Fifty, the all night lights of the restaurant meant his favorite meal of scrambled eggs, hash browns and wheat toast could be served anytime, day or night. Year after year he and hundreds of his freedom loving pot-heads could stop by after a hard days night of partying, pot smoking and whiskey drinking to quench their munchies.

But no longer. The Waffle House was scheduled to close it doors at the end of the month after twenty-two years in business. Most customers, it seems, opted for newer establishments up the road on Interstate Seventy. All except for the local loco's.

"Look here," Jason said last month as he and his red eyed friends devoured their late night orders, "I pay taxes just like the next man, mostly. Just 'cause me and Dog here get a little wild or can't seem to hit the toilet at three o'clock in the morning is no reason to close the place down."

Those sentiments were reflected all across the county as the local pot-heads, young guns and old hippies alike, tried to hold meeting and rallies to find a possible solution to their mid-night munchies catastrophe. Most rallies ended before they started as the participants became disoriented or lost, or worst yet, drove right past the meeting place racked by feelings of paranoia. In anguished food stained letters sent to the local newspaper, the pot smokers complained of "a lost way of life, never to return, like the Indians, man!"

Sadly, late night partiers will need to find another eatery sooner than expected. The local Waffle House is now gone for good.

"Someone, I'm told," said Sheriff Tate, "threw a discarded match in the dumpster behind the restaurant early this morning, resulting in two alarm blaze that unfortunately burnt the place to the ground."

To the chagrin of the local loco's it appears that, for awhile at least, their late night munchie meals have gone up in smoke.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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