Written by TomFoolery
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Topics: Money, Hollywood

Sunday, 21 August 2005

image for Cindy Sheehan: Democratic Party Love Clone
Cindy Sheehan on Being Told How She Came To Be

HOLLYWOOD (Maury Povich Show)-Paid for by leftover soft money presidential campaign contributions (estimated to still amount to untold billions) and kickbacks from gasoline price gouging (too much to count), the DNA laboratory proof is now in: Cindy Sheehan is the result of an illicit Democratic Party love clone experiment gone way wrong. Typical of the average guest on Maury's daytime ‘reality' program, denials are flooding out of the liberal side of the aisle in both Houses of Congress in a hail of press releases aimed at ‘unbesmirching' the dignity and honor Democratic lawmakers actually believe they have.

Test results were delayed several times, because of confusing analytical findings, brought about by the ‘cocktail' approach to fertilization whereby every male Capitol Hill Democrat provided a sperm sample, matched by eggs donated by every woman on the Democratic Party's national rolls. So, in actuality, Cindy Sheehan embodies a little bit of the entire Democratic Party's genetic makeup. Conceived in the very blender that contained the primordial goo, Cindy still calls every democrat male she sees "Daddy" and every female counterpart "Mama" as if she belonged to each and every liberal who "contributed" to her existence.

So, much like Dolly the sheep, Cindy is a living legend, but what sets Cindy apart from a mere animal is her status as poster child for whatever it is the Democratic Party claims to stand for. Though she claims it was brought about by the loss of her son in the War on Terrorism, Cindy's hatred for George W. Bush is nothing more than a matter of genetics. Though the death wish syndrome is contagious, exposure to the smallest dose of truth, patriotism or conservative logic is enough to remedy the aberrant human condition. To prevent eventual relapse, listening to Limbaugh, Hannity or O'Reilly at least once daily is highly recommended.

It's not the least surprising that Cindy seems lost and helpless. With so many moms and dads attempting to tell her what to do, running away from the voices in her head to bask in he shadow of the very target of her unwarranted hate is, ironically, the ticket to her salvation. It's not too late for Cindy to be cured of the side-effect of her Democrat Dystrophy birth defect. Republican physicians are standing by, hoping Cindy will come to her senses; the sooner, the better for her, the president, the nation and the world. But there is growing evidence that Queda dollars are being funneled into the Sheehan ‘Insanity' Tour.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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