Written by mikewadestr
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Topics: Jack in the Box

Saturday, 22 January 2011

image for Jack in the Box Loses Jack when He Pops Out of the Box
Have you seen this...man?

A Tucson, Arizona Jack in the Box got "jacked" when their Jack, popped out of his box and is now on the loose. Jack in the Box has filed a missing persons report with the Tucson police department as well as the National Crimes Information Center (NCIC). Jack in the Box has made a desperate plea to the public to help find him. Jack in the Box would really like to have their Jack back.

Jack apparently popped out of his box sometime around 3:00 AM this morning while the fast food restaurant was closed and devoid of personnel. He was last seen at a Circle K that was one block from Jack's Jack in the Box, by a store clerk where he bought two packs of Marlboro Lights 100 cigarettes, a burrito and a large fountain coke.

The community around the restaurant was stunned to learn that there actually was a real live Jack, in a box at Jack in the Box. As a matter of fact, no one could remember ever seeing a box in the place much less a Jack either.

Jack is described as being 5 foot, 2 inches tall with a bald white round head and was wearing a cone shaped hat that sits askew on the left side of his head. His head sits on top of a white coil that is covered with white plastic. He always wears a large red smile and has big round blue eyes as well as a squashed round blue nose. He has no ears. He was reported by the Circle K clerk as wearing no clothes.

With no arms or legs, many members of Jack's community want to know just exactly how Jack does it.

Police have announced that, while they are searching for Jack, they have, also, opened up an investigation on the incident. The police are trying to find out if Jack was in the box voluntarily or whether he was forced to be in the box by Jack in the Box. There is, also, an issue about Jack's actual age, which came to light when police viewed the footage of the Circle K's security cameras. If Jack is underage for the purchase of cigarettes the Circle K that sold them to Jack could receive a stiff fine.

In Circle K's defense the clerk said that Jack did show him an ID that had his age at 24 although the ID was not a driver's license. The clerk was quoted as saying: "I could not expect someone who had no arms or legs to be able to drive a car now, could I?"

The police have already uncovered something unusual when they checked Jack's birth certificate and found that Jack's name is actually Jim.

When a Jack in the Box spokesperson was asked about the name on the birth certificate and why Jack was not called Jim, he responded:

"Honestly, who the hell is going to eat at a Jim in the Box".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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