Written by Kid Icarus
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Topics: Money, lawsuits

Saturday, 22 January 2011

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RICHMOND, Calif. Attorneys for a teen girl who got attacked outside a Northern California high school say there is plenty of opportunities for other teen girls to get rich by visiting a law firm with a similar case.

School officials say the teenage girl who was attacked outside of the high school reached a $4 million settlement with the school district.

Her attorney says that these type of cases are a good way for teen girls to help their families by taking them out of poverty and into a world of wealth and prestige. "Enticing a group of boys in school and having a girlfriend secretly video tape the incident, with a cell phone, half way while it's ending is a good way to gather evidence for the case," says her Attorney.

Working at McDoogles flipping hamburgers is not a realistic method of getting rich because a person would have to work at McDoogles for 2 thousand years just to make $4 million dollars and nobody lives beyond 130 years old.

The attorney, Rich B'Stard says district officials agreed that the girl should not endure depositions or a civil trial because it would be traumatic.

Attorney's are encouraging the school district to unite with organizations and insurance companies to help pay future victims the $4 million dollars needed in the recovery of damages.

The six accused have pleaded not guilty to the charges from the beating which occurred in October of 2009 during the Richmond High School homecoming dance.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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