DES MOINES, Iowa - Sarah Palin was making a speech to a crowd gathered in the parking lot of a Jack-in-The-Box Restaurant when she was asked about the reported nude photos of her that are appearing on the Internet.
Palin blushed and turned as red as a Topeka tomato. She shook her head and said that this was really not the time nor the place to discuss such matters because she had come to the Jack-in-The-Box to try and gather up some much needed support for her Tea Baggers Party 2012 presidential run.
A reporter for Left Coast Mirror Magazine Evelyn Tammy Quillhoop told her that it most certainly was the time and the place to discuss this gossip-charged issue.
Palin told Quillhoop that she was just about finished talking to the seven (7) people that had gathered in the parking lot to hear her and that she would talk to her afterwards.
"Snowflake" promised the seven members in the crowd that if they elect her president she will build a 1,400 mile bridge from Anchorage, Alaska to Seattle, Washington in order for travelers to avoid having to pay the exorbitant toll road fees that the Canadian government charges.
One of the men in the crowd hollered out, "Hey bitch, we're from Canada and we don't appreciate your sorry ass making fun of our beloved snow-laden country."
Palin responded by saying, "Ya know, gosh darnit, I love Canada. In fact on a clear day, I can see Canada from my daughter Piper's bedroom window. So let me just say that upon further reflection I guess that my Alaska to Washington bridge is a pretty stupid idea huh?"
As the crowd dispersed into the wintry Des Moines evening Palin and Quillhoop went inside the Jack-in-The Box and sat down at a booth. "Crosshairs" ordered an Ultimate Cheese Burger with Curly Fries and a jumbo 82-ounce Strawberry Milk Shake.
Quillhoop had a water and a small cup of croutons. She asked Palin about the alleged photos of her that were floating around on the Internet.
Palin took a deep breath and said that she had not seen the photos but believed that if there were some nude photos of her they were probably taken by Kate Gosselin when she and her eight kids had visited her and her family at their Wasilla home Casa Moscow.
The ex-former mother-in-law of Levi Johnston said that she vaguely recalls that one evening when she was taking a shower she heard Kate come into the bathroom saying that she was looking for some ketchup.
Palin said she opened the shower curtain to tell her that it was in the pantry next to the Moose food and reindeer muffins. She recalls turning around and hearing what sounded like two or three 'click-clicks' but she thought nothing of it.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: I have personally seen the photos in question. And to be honest, I do not think that the ass in the photos belongs to Sarah Palin. I really and truly believe that it could possibly be the butt of Sarah Palin impersonator Tina Fey.]