Written by Tawdry Soup
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Tuesday, 18 January 2011

Bending to demand from potential organ donors, the World Organ Donor Bank, which issues organ donor cards, has printed a box on their cards that allows donors to opt-out when it comes to donating a heart to ailing Vice-President and war profiteer, Dick Cheney. It reads: Could you ever be dead enough to allow Dick Cheney to get your heart? Check YES or NO.

Malva Meddles, President of the World Organ Donor Bank, defended her decision to provide the opt-out box in a phone interview with Tawdry Soup on Tuesday. She was asked point-blank if this is a political move to prevent Cheney from having a heart.

"No way, no way, responded Meddles. "In fact, Cheney had lots of time to get a heart. He just waited to the last minute, which is too bad. Hundreds of thousands of Iraqi children with good healthy hearts had their bodies blown apart when he was in power. You think somebody would have grabbed him a good one. They were lying all over the street, right there in the dirt, with some still beating away. We begged him and Bush to allow us to harvest organs from those kids after they were cut to pieces with shrapnel bombs, but Cheney said the liberals would have a field day if the organs of those dead kids were used to help somebody dying of disease, even in Iraq. Looks like the only thing that had a field day in Iraq were the stray dogs. While Bush and Cheney were busy giggling like mean little girls over this mayhem, our organization tried to get donor cards dropped over the cities while the military was dropping those "get out of your home or die" pamphlets. You know, the ones written in Chinese and Spanish. In my opinion, Cheney getting in line to take a good heart from somebody with the potential for a full life, is well, for lack of a better word, heartless."

The Cheney camp responded with, "go fuck yourself."

Satan, preparing for Cheney's arrival, is busily removing the dust covers from the furniture in the War Criminal Suite. The overstuffed furniture is made from the bones, skin and hair of people killed during the Bush Administration, and warm blood runs straight from the tap. The entertainment is first class: remastered clips of the Iraq war from Al Jazeera run 24 hours on the video screen.

A gaze out of the window shows a breathtaking view littered with the arms and legs of American soldiers. In these elaborate and comfortable surroundings, Cheney can bide his time awaiting his bunkmates and fellow war criminals, George W. Bush and Donald Rumsfeld.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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