Kumbaya is an African-American spiritual song which translates to "Come by Here" and through the years has come to symbolize peace, harmony and compassion toward our fellow man. It is a standard song sung around campfires, in cars by families heading out on the road together, and now, President Obama wants the song to replace the Star-Spangled Banner as our national anthem.
This move has Republicans up in arms for several reasons. "First of all," claims Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Kentucky), "before now, no one even knew what the song meant. Oh sure, it makes everyone feel all fuzzy warm when they sing it, I guess, but what the hell does 'come by here' have to do with America as a nation? Nothing."
Sen. Lindsey Graham chimed in as well. "I've listened to the lyrics and let me just say that by Americans singing 'someone's sleeping, Lord,' that has terrorist attack written all over it. Once our combatant enemies see that we are asleep at the wheel, do you honestly think they aren't going to come after us? The whole thing makes us sound like we're just a country of namby-pambys."
When Senator Graham was told that the lyrics actually were four verses which included "someone's laughing, Lord, someone's crying, Lord, someone's praying, Lord, and someone's singing, Lord," Graham stated "Well then, that's worse. Makes us sound like we're all manic depressive."
The song proposal isn't expected to make it much further than a House vote before it is shelved. "Shame," claims Obama. "I really thought we were coming together as a nation and changing our anthem would seal the deal. Guess we just aren't there yet, but I do have hope."