NEW YORK CITY - The Tittle Tattle Tonight news program is reporting that GOP mouthpieces, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and Bill O'Reilly have each personally asked Sarah Palin to please not call them until this "CrosshairsGate" things blows over.
3T reporter Papaya Ruckusgarden said that Limbaugh, who smokes 12 inch cigars, while denying that he has deep rooted gay tendencies was the first to reach out to "Shotgun" Sarah.
He called her and told her that she has just gone and done what he has never in his 43 year career on radio and television ever done and that is to stick her foot in her mouth.
"El Rusho" then added, "My GOPesque goodness woman, truth be told you actually managed to stick both size 9 feet in that wilderness woman mouth of yours."
When "Snowflake" asked him what the friggin hell he was talking about he replied, "Everything! Everyeffenthing that has come out of your caribou sandwich smelling mouth for the past 48 hours. Damnit Palin, even that skinny skank Nancy Pelosi knows when to shut her Democratic mouth."
Palin started crying. Limbaugh interrupted and told her that crying ain't gonna change a dang blasted thing just look at Brett "Brenda" Favre, Glenn "Glenda" Beck, and John "Joanie" Boehner.
Sarah hung up on him.
Glenn Beck called her up next. At first "Crosshairs" Sarah could not understand him since Becky was crying like a two-year-old who has just been told to eat her vegetables for the fourth time.
He finally composed himself and told her that she really needs to stop doing that reality show Sarah Palin's Frozen Alaska because it is making her look like the female version of Daniel Friggin Boone, Buffalo Bill Effen Cody, and Lewis and Freakin Clark.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Sarah Palin's Frozen Alaska has been cancelled. The network had no choice since it was the only way that the PETA organization said they would be willing to drop their $800 million lawsuit against the network, the Palins, Alaska, and the show's sponsor Viagra.]
Sean "Fred Flintstone" Hannity was the next to call up the "Ice Queen." He told her that he could not believe that she had actually okayed the article with the crosshairs photos.
He then told her that if President Barry Obama had pulled such a hair-brained stunt before the election the skinny brother's ass would not be sitting in that pretty White House right now.
Palin asked him why he called him Barry. Hannity replied, "Nevermind bitch, it doesn't friggin matter anymore, you have already ruined your chances for 2012 and now I only hope that you haven't hurt Mike Huckabee's chances.
"Who?" Palin asked.
Bill "The Pill" O'Reilly called up the "Loose Moose" next.
"Sarah?" He asked.
"Yes Billy, it's Sarah go ahead my one and only friend.
SIDENOTE: So there are those who say that Sarah Louise Palin has finally shot something other than a caribou, moose, elk, or reindeer. "Shotgun" Sarah has gone and shot herself in the foot, or to be politically correct both friggin feet. Others, her friends, neighbors, and fellow Tea Baggers say that she will recover because Sarah Palin has something that no other American woman in the Lower 48 states has...Sarah Palin has onions (balls) and that puts her up there with the likes of the 'Queen of Mean,' Naomi "I'm Gonna Hit Cha" Campbell.]