Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 13 January 2011

image for Willow Palin Has An Out-of-Control Fantasy Fetish About Justin Bieber
Justin Bieber in his backyard in Ontario, Canada playing the popular childrens game "Guess Who I Am?"

WASILLA, Alaska - The television news program Tittle Tattle Tonight is reporting that Sarah Palin's second daughter, the non-dancing Willow Palin, has admitted to having an out-of-control fetish regarding Justin Bieber.

Willow "The Pillow" as her mom calls her due to the fact that Willow has what girls her age refer to as a "Muffin Top" is so embarrassed about her JB fetish that when anyone mentions it, she gets all upset and threatens to go outside and shoot a squirrel, woodchuck, or beaver which ever just happens to be the handiest.

The Palin's live on Lake Lucille so those three varmints are literally all over their property and are always getting run over on purpose by both Todd and Sarah.

The PETA organization has sent them letters threatening a lawsuit, but the Palin's being the hard-headed Tea Baggers that they are simply say that no one is going to tell them what they can or can't effen run over on their mother friggin property.

Since Willow has made it clear that she is not going to talk to anyone about her fetish, her little sister Piper, who is nine was asked about it by a 3T reporter. Piper was only to glad to volunteer the information after the offer the reporter made her.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I must warn you that even though Piper is only nine-years-old she is already using the same type of trailer trash language that her mom and two sisters use.]

Piper told the reporter for Tittle Tattle Tonight (3T) that her 16-year-old sister stays up until midnight singing every friggin single song that the Canadian heartthrob Justin Bieber has ever recorded.

Little Piper added that sometimes Willow will even get an extra freakin pillow out of the damn closet and pretend that its Justy and she will start to kiss it and hug it like it was really Justy.

Piper stuck her finger in her mouth and made the throw up sign. She giggled and said that Willow offered to give her $3 if she promised not to tell anyone.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: When the reporter for 3T first found out about Willow's offer she turned around and offered Piper $15 if she would talk to her about Willow's fantasy fetish. Piper who is pretty good at arithmetic quickly took the bitchin' offer (her word).]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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