Written by Don Fulsom

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Wednesday, 12 January 2011

image for Golden-Voiced Bum to Marry Golden Girl?
Ted once slept with Rue, and about 10,000 others.

The golden-voiced hobo who became famous for fifteen minutes says he plans to wed Rue McClanahan after he completes rehab for drug and alcohol abuse.

Ted Williams, the 53-year-old former radio announcer who lived in a cardboard box and ate cat food, says he has always admired McClanahan, an actress on an old-time TV show, "Golden Girls."

The homeless man told reporters: "I have been in love with Rue for ages. God, and what a great voice SHE has! And when I put my life back together, I'll bet anything I can woo her away from her current boyfriend with my golden tones."

No one had the guts to tell Williams that during his drugged-out days when he was living in the box, Rue McClanahan had died.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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