WASILLA, Alaska - The former governor of Alaska, and the mama of the third best non-professional dancer in the entire United States, Bristol "The Pistol" Palin, has been told by no less than 172 members of The Tea Baggers Party to skedaddle out of the country and mosey on over to Russia, where Wikileaks documents purportedly state she was born, until this "CrosshairsGate" incident dies down.
"Shotgun" Sarah Palin has once again managed to put her great big size 9 Alaskan snow boot in her gosh darn caribou-eating mouth with her unbelievably irresponsible "Political Opponents Crosshairs Map."
[EDITOR'S NOTE: And there is no American whether Republican, Democrat, Independent, Libertarian, Whig, or Swahili who can honestly say that printing such a negligently scatterbrained bull's eye map was okay; perhaps in 1942 Nazi Germany, but not in present day America. No sir, no how, no way Jose Canseco.]
The leader of The Palinistas has shown the "Lower 48" and Hawaii exactly why she has become known as The Paris Hilton of Politics.
Yes the wilderness woman who has single-handedly reinvented world geography is acting more and more like Kim Jong Il, the leader of the North Korean people whom "Snowflake" stated are our allies.
Sarah "The Loose Moose" Palin has again demonstrated beyond an iceberg's shadow of a doubt that she is more suited for the Disney Channel than she is for CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, or SLYFOX.
Even former President George Dubya Bush, who cannot stand the "Cartoon Woman" from Wasilla, shook his head and said, "Ya know I kinda feel sorry for old Toddy boy (Mr. Sarah Palin) because I guaraneffentee ya that there ain't a woman in my home state of Texas who walks around wearing a camouflage jockstrap like that Alaskan Annie Oakley wannabee does."
In other news. The rumor that former Speaker of the House Nancy "Lips of Love" Pelosi and new Speaker of the House John "Granny Teardrops" Boehner were spotted kissing intimately in a red 2007 Kia Spectra in the parking lot of a Washington D.C. Wendy's Restaurant is not true.