Written by anthonyrosania
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Topics: NBC

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

image for NBC's Mid-Season Sh-tbag, The Cape, is 11.35 Tons Of Suck.

NBC, the network who brought us The Jay Leno Show, Joey, Knight Rider 2K10, Kath & Kim, Coupling, quarterlife, My Own Worst Enemy, The Lyon's Den and Outsourced has further damaged its legacy by bringing The Cape to its Monday night lineup.

"Look, its either 'The Cape' or 'The Paul Reiser Show'," said NBC President Jack Donaghy. "We went with the one we think will suck less."

The Cape features Vince Faraday (Robocop) is a Palm City (Gotham City) Police Detective. Friend and fellow Detective Marty Voyt (Victor Vance, Grand Theft Auto) talks Vince into joining him as Police Officer for ARK Corporation (LEXCorp), a private security company that aims to take over policing Palm City after the new Police Chief is killed by the masked killer known as Chess (Mr. Bean).

Orwell (Oracle from Birds Of Prey) is an unseen blogger that is outing corrupt members of the Palm City Police Department. Faraday decides to join Voyt after meeting Peter Fleming (Lex Luthor) the billionaire CEO of ARK.

After the Police Chief is killed by an explosion of L-9 (C-4), Faraday finds a shipment of the chemical explosives in a railroad box car owned by ARK after being tipped off to it by Orwell. Faraday shows Voyt what he has found and is betrayed by Voyt and captured by ARK SWAT Officers.

Faraday awakes to find himself tied to a chair in front of Voyt and Chess. Chess reveals himself as Peter Fleming and plans to frame Faraday as being Chess and have ARK Police hunt him down and kill him. Chess staples his trademark cowl onto Faraday's head and forces him to run for his life in the rail yard.

Faraday runs from ARK Police as helicopters fly overhead, one of them a News Helicopter reports that Faraday is Chess as Faraday's wife Dana (Ally McBeal ) and young son Trip (Justin Bieber) watch the events unfold on TV at home. Faraday is cornered under a chemical tank railroad car and finds a trap door to a tunnel below, he opens the door and fall into the tunnel as the rail car explodes from the firing ARK Police Officers.

Faraday is presumed have died in the explosion, but he is found and saved by the Carnival Of Crime, headed by Max Malini (Warden Leo Glynn). The Carnival Of Crime are Bank Robbers, and during their first robbery, each thief is directed to kill the other. After shooting the bank manager, the Joker is asked what he believes in. "I believe that whatever doesn't kill you only makes you... Stranger." and then he says, "No, I kill the bus driver." And... wait, wrong bank robbery.

Spoiler Alert.

"Don't worry, we'll cancel this piece of crap soon enough," said Donaghy. "It'll be replaced with 'Law & Order: Jenkintown, PA' by Easter."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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