Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 11 January 2011

image for Conspiracy theorists fan the flames as DC lobbyist Ashley Turton dies in freak garage blaze
The blaze caused extensive structural damage to the garage and family home

Washington - (Bonfire of the Insanities): The DC energy lobbyist and wife of presidential aide Dan Turton died in a shocking, freakishly bizarre 5am car blaze in her garage on Monday.

Police and fire department investigators are on the case amid speculation the BMW SUV's sudden, unexpected self-combustion may have been the result of sabotage.

"That raises the ugly assassination question," an Eastern Market resident commented on his blog today, "coming so close to the attempted murder of Gabrielle Giffords."

Turton, a highly successful congressional staffer-turned lobbyist, had been working on the acclaimed $13 billion corporate merger between Progress Energy and Duke Energy.

Her death comes hot on the heels of former Bush military advisor John P Wheeler III's sudden, unexpected demise in a Wilmington landfill site.

A conspiracy whodunnit site TinFoilHattersAnonymous.con source said today a pattern of mobster-style executions was emergiong and warned more fatalities were likely.

With some 21 months to go before the 2012 White House presidential campaign a return to olden days-style gangland hits is becoming increasingly likely.

Political pundits have recently pointed out that during the 1970s and 80s the US was replete with drive-by shootings, mysterious decapitations and other gross forms of murder.

These diminished somewhat when George W Bush was first elected as Governor of Texas, increasing once again ahead of the 2000 presidential race.

The years 2000 to 2008 were relatively quiet during the Bush/Cheney administrations, most essential 'vermin extermination business' having been secured earlier.

Internet spread betting website Aintgottaprayer.con is now revising its odds for possible future mystery deaths in the Capitol Hill area.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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