NOGALES, Arizona - The executive director of the Arizona chapter of the Tea Bag Party, Brunicia Hixie Taterpickle, 67, has received over 4,000 phone calls, 5,000 text messages, and over 10,000 emails regarding the irresponsibility of some of her party members.
When asked about the Arizona trajedy, Taterpickle merely answered with a comment of "No comment." At press time, she had used that phrase a total of 19,371 times.
Ms. Taterpickle, who has never been married, and is therefore considered an "Old Maid" has been approached by reporters from every state in the country, including Alaska, which is not really recognized by people south of Kansas as actually being a state, since it is really more like a great big, gigantic, snowball that if it melted would probably end up being the size of the little town of Calexico, California
It is no secret that there are some card-carrying members of Arizona's Tea Bag Party who have made some very serious remarks about some very hot topics, subjects, and issues including Nancy Pelosi, the NFL Arizona Cardinals, Taco Bell condiments, the issue of paper or plastic, the issue of Ginger or Mary Ann, and whether or not President Obama should allow Mexico's Green Guacamole Drug Cartel to purchase Arizona and make it Mexico's 52nd state.
But the main concern has been the party's penchant for stirring up feelings, emotions, and sentiments that can and do get into the heads and minds of ignorant, unbalanced, imbecilic, numskull low-life's such as one Jared Lee "The Sick Monster" Loughner.
Two Tea Baggers identified as Beulah Tessina Chillyfinny, 59, and Ogelthrope Finchwick, 57, are two excellent examples of a couple of political hot heads that sadly cannot distinguish the difference between a bowling ball and a pretzel.
Chillyfinny has repeatedly stated that President Obama needs to be sent back to Pakistan where she insists he was born and Finchwick has made remarks that he would like to wrestle Michelle Obama and make her holler Uncle Ben.
Meanwhile Brunicia Hixie Taterpickle has defended both party members by saying that to be a member of The Arizona Tea Bag Party one does not have to have any common sense, sense of decency, or any actual intelligence whatsoever just as long as they swear allegiance to "Big Blue," honor the birther doctrine, and pay their monthly membership dues on time.
[EDITOR'S NOTE: By "Big Red" Taterpickle means red like in the red states (Republican) versus the blue states (Democrat).]