Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Sunday, 9 January 2011

The GOP Congressional Caucus announced today that due to the overwhelming approval by the public of the reading of the Constitution on the first day of Congress, they will read a book every day for the rest of 2011.

Speaker of the House, John Boehner stated, "The voters of America spoke in November, they want us to read to them and, after all, this is the peoples house. Starting this next week we will read everyday for the rest of the year On Monday, Congresswoman Michele Bachmann will kick off the program by reading,One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. This will be her first act as a member of the House intelligence committee and a fine start it is!"

As the GOP members published the initial readers, every Democrat that asked to read was rejected. Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi had requested, When Bad Things Happen to Good People, Bernie Saunders wanted to read the Sermon on the Mount, and Barney Frank applied to read, Emily Has Two Mommies. Saunders drew the harshest criticism. "We will not permit a socialist agenda in the people's house," said Eric Cantor. "Rather dead than red!"

There appeared to be no shortage of GOP Congressman to read for the rest of the year. Congressman Jim DeMint of South Carolina is scheduled to start with Uncle Tom's Cabin. Senator John McCain will read, The Best of Attila the Hun on the Senate floor, and two full days will be set aside for John Boehner to read Dr. Seuss. "This is an emotional book for John," said Cantor. "It may take a little extra time."

While most progressive organizations and the liberal media condemned the program, a few spoke up in its defense. goodguv.org issued a statement that reads in part, "It's a bargain! At a million dollars a day, it is cheap at twice the price. Just think what they would be doing if it wasn't this. Besides, maybe they will learn something."

Evidentiary, only one new Tea Party member will be reading the first week. "We are certainly looking forward to hearing Dick and Jane," said a GOP House member. "It will be for the first time for so many of us."

In related news, the AP is reporting that the majority of the new members will be absent from the floor for two full weeks while attending remedial reading classes.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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