Written by Inhopeless
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Topics: Shooting, Right-Wing

Saturday, 8 January 2011

TUSCON, AZ - After one child was killed and Democrat Gabrielle Giffords was hospitalised during a shooting, many conservatives are saying it is a sign from God.

"Lookie here," said one, "I was doing my sister when I heard the good news! First this demon-crat, next it'll be them illegals and stuff. Then after it'll be O-bomber, but he's an illegal too, so it don't matter."

Many of those in the Bible Belt saw this event as a sign from God that he would smite the Democrats.

"The Lord is definately on my side," said one, "the lord wants us to kill the towelheads, and the dirty gays, and the democrats. This shooter will be praised and given a good treatment in the eyes of Jesus. The she-demon-crat will be given torture in Hell once she hits the bucket in hospital."

TV host Glenn Beck announced that he would host a bake sale in order to free the shooter, if caught.

However, God had this to say: "What the...? Seriously? You want ME to smite them? Do it yourself. Honestly. I ain't gonna solve all your whiny problems. In fact... I'm gonna make your bake sale rain Beck..."

As of press time, Glenn Beck was screaming 'NOOOO!!!!'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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