Written by shea lo
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Friday, 7 January 2011

image for Cheating Prez candidate John Edwards proposes to mistress - tells kids they will all now be one, big happy family

And to think he could almost have become POTUS [President of the United States]. According to information gleaned from a 'highly-respectable' (sic) news source, former Presidential candidate and world's number one dirty rat fink John Edwards has apparently asked the mother of his love child to marry him.

Readers will no doubt be quite familiar with the smarmy, slimy, Southern ex-senator who posed with sick wife Elizabeth during a failed Presidential campaign. This was the man of the $400 haircuts who spoke of how much he loved his wife who was battling cancer; extolled simple family virtues; rebuked Bill Clinton for his sexual shenanigans and tried to pass himself off as the epitome of American fidelity, honesty and integrity.

All this while he was canoodling with his lover - whom he had hired to work on his campaign and with whom he fathered a child. And if that wasn't everything he even pressured a top aide and friend - a married man, to allow himself to be compromised in being named as the father of the child.

When the fit hit the shan dying wife Elizabeth was made to take to the airwaves to stand by her cheatin' man while publicly condemning the cunning mistress and ungraciously ignoring the innocent babe. Pathetic as it was it is also understandable. After all it's bad enough when a spouse has to cope with their terminal illness while supporting a narcissistic husband's ambitions. But throw in a cheating, lying husband, a mistress and a baby - hell - that's three too many blows for any one to handle.

According to this esteemed publication not only has slimy John proposed marriage to his mistress, barely three weeks after his wife's passing but it appears the new Mrs. John-to-be has asked his kids to "Call me mommy!". John it appears has promised his kids that they will now be "one big, happy family."

Other prurient busybodies have commented: ""Elizabeth must be turning over in her grave!".

Self-righteous Tea Baggers laid out the moral of this story as they filibustered Congress:

"Never trust a liberal politician. The more smooth, silky and smarmy the less is their honesty, integrity and ethics"

Confronted with their own dirty business they turned on the lamestream media accusing it of "asking the wrong questions".

Decent folks everywhere can only hope that the innocent baby born out of this union is allowed to grow up outside the moralistic judgment of a meddling public eye and not held hostage to her parents continued undoings.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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