Written by mikewadestr
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Thursday, 6 January 2011

A Champaign, Illinois woman today sold, at auction, a piece of toast that held the image of Jesus Christ disguised as Osama Bin Laden for ten million dollars.

The buyer, a man name Jack B. Sucker, who is a Congressional Aide to an unnamed Senator in Washington, DC, paid the ten million dollars with a certified Federal Treasury check.

The woman who sold the toast has asked to remain anonymous.

"This is an awesome piece of biblical artwork", proclaimed Jack B. Sucker. "You can clearly see that it is a picture of Jesus disguised as Osama Bin Laden right down to the T".

When asked how he knew it was Jesus disguised as Osama Bin Laden and not Osama Bin Laden himself, Jack B. replied: "The beard for one. If you look closely with a magnifying glass, you can see a small tag on the right side of the beard that says made in China. If Osama Bin Laden ever wore a fake beard, it would not be one that is made in China, it would be made in Bagdad. Also, the halo above Jesus' head is another dead giveaway as well as the two matzo balls that he is holding in his right hand".

When asked why Jesus would disguise himself as Osama Bin Laden, Sucker said: "Hell, he is Jesus and he can dress up as anyone he wants to, I guess. Although, the lady I bought it from did say she came across it at a Chicago diner on the morning of Halloween, so that might explain things a bit".

While Jack B. Sucker's buy at the auction was truly interesting, it was not the only discovery of Jesus being disguised as another person on a piece of food.

A man from Rockville, Maryland auctioned off an image of Jesus disguised as Barack Obama standing on a paper copy of his health care legislation so he could get to a cookie jar, on the inside of a pineapple. A girl scout from Los Angeles auctioned off a butter cookie of Jesus disguised as a brownie hanging out in an elementary school girl's bathroom. A woman from Washington, DC, auctioned off an image of the Virgin Mary disguised as Hillary Clinton wearing a strap-on, on a ham and cheese omelet. A man from Orlando, Florida auctioned off a figure of Jesus disguised as the 535 voting members of Congress screwing the American people, on top of an apple pie.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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