Written by Charpa93
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Topics: Navy, Sex scandal

Wednesday, 5 January 2011

image for Navy's Modern Day 'Mr. Roberts' Gets the Heave Ho
USS Reprobate

Once news of a naval captain responsible for writing, filming and starring in raunchy videos broke on national news, opinions have emerged as to why he did it. While some naval personnel abhor his actions, many seamen who served under him are coming to his defense and calling him the best commanding officer they have ever had the pleasure of taking orders from.

While Captain Owen Honors isn't saying much in defense of his actions, many are calling him a modern day Mr. Roberts after the lead character in the 1955 film of the same name, and even going so far as to give the Naval War Ship he commanded, the Enterprise, a nickname, i.e. "the Reprobate."

Sailors on the Reprobate claim that their regular dose of raunchy videos supplied by their Captain speaks volumes of what a stand-up guy he really was. They claim that Honors' favorite movie was Mr. Roberts, and he spoke often of wanting to be as well-liked as Lt. Roberts by his crew, while giving the screws to the upper brass. He was often quoted as saying "if I had a palm tree for every time I wanted to get back at the Admiral…."

Many claim that whatever Honors asked them to do, they did willingly and with a smile, whether it was swabbing the deck, simulating sex, or showering with bunkmates. "We did it to boost morale," said Seaman Richard "Big Rick" Mason, one of many seamen who starred in the videos taped by Honors. "Mr. Honors, as he liked to be called, was different from the other officers. He brought himself down on our level, sometimes on all fours, as he liked to say, to help keep all of us in good spirits," said Mason.

Many seamen claim that if anything, Honors should have been bumped up to Rear Admiral for his actions, an inside joke the sailors never seemed to tire of.

For his actions, Honors has been removed from duty, but many say that it is not the last we will see of him. "He has plenty of raw footage he'll be taking with him," said Chief Petty Officer James Bendover, another of Honors' top performers. "I wouldn't be surprised that when all the smoke clears over this over-blown media blitz, you'll see late night commercials for a new video series called "Seamen Gone Wild" and one way or the other, the morale of the Navy will continue on the uptick thanks to Mr. Honors.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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