Written by ESB
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Topics: Local, Weather, Rain

Monday, 3 January 2011

image for Local Man Looks Out Window - Gets The Weather Wrong
Partly Sunny

Des Moines, IA - Insurance Salesman Walter Burns is under fire. Burns, an employee at National Insurance, was asked about the weather by a coworker. Burns looked out the window and reported what he saw.

"It was sunny. The sun was out," said Burns. "So I told her it was sunny."

Emily Schweitzer challenges Burns' assertions. "It was raining when I left - I got soaked."

Turns out everyone at National listed to Burns' forecast. Employees left their umbrellas in their cubicles. Some dressed down into shorts and flip flops. A few put zinc oxide on their noses. One man set his Picasso painting outside.

"My baby got soaked," said Terry Phillips. When asked why he had a baby at work Phillips said "it was sunny, why not?"

Burns claims he doesn't hate babies and insists he reported what he saw. "I don't know what happened," he said. "I think there's something wrong with the window."

Burns has been looking out the window for at least ten years. He has no training and is not certified by the American Meteorological Society. An investigation is underway to determine whether or not the windows at National are faulty.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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